


Of Playboy Bunnies and Alan Turing

by MarySue (tattooeddevil)



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: F/M, Sexting, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-27
Updated: 2014-02-27
Packaged: 2018-01-13 23:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1244107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattooeddevil/pseuds/MarySue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benedict is a spoilsport and his girlfriend is horny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Playboy Bunnies and Alan Turing

"Where are you?"

   "The tower."

"Of London?"

   "Which else?"

"Dubai? Kuala Lumpur? You never know with you."

   "Funny. Yes, the Tower of London. Having lunch at the moment."

"Good?"

   "Not bad :) Shouldn't you be working?"

"Are you not happy to hear from me? I can stop texting immediately if you like."

   "You know I'm only joking. I always love hearing from you <3"

"I know."

   "How's it going? Better than yesterday?"

"Much. Headache's gone. Thanks for that, by the way."

   "That's what girlfriends are for."

"Migraine reducing blowjobs?"

   "Medicinal oral sex, yes."

"I like the sound of that! Can I fake a headache again tonight?"

   "Oi! You faked it?! No more medicine for you, buddy!"

"Kidding, kidding! Last night's was real! Hold the punishment just yet!"

   "Are you sure? You know how I punish you, and I know you like it."

"Don't say that, you know what it does to me..."

   "Handcuffs.”

   “Blindfold.”

   “Butt plug.”

   “Thigh-highs.”

   “Whip.”

   “Paddle."

"Stop! Seriously, stop, I beg of you. I don't think Alan Turing would have cracked that code with an erection the size of China."

   "Spoilsport."

"Tease."

   "It ain't teasing if I come through."

"Honestly babe, quit it before I embarrass myself in front of everyone on set."

   "How's your mother?"

"Better, thanks."

   "Wait, your mum's better or that's a better subject?!"

"Both."

   "Again, spoilsport. But give my love to your mum if you talk to her."

"I think you'll talk to her sooner than me. Dad's surprise party, remember? Mum said she'd call you today to discuss the cake."

   "Ah yes, the cake with the surprise Playboy bunny in it! Got that covered, babe."

"God, dad would have a coronary!"

   "Fine, I'll cancel it before it's too late... I was looking forward to that!"

"Sorry. I'm a spoilsport."

   "That's what I keep telling you!"

"I'll pick him up an issue of Playboy, how's that?"

   "Not the same."

"Stop pouting."

   "I am not pouting."

"You are."

   "Am not."

"Really, darling? What are you, four?"

   "You know you love a bit of kids-play. Remember the pigtails?"

"Darling!"

   "Sorry, sorry. I'm just so bloody horny, love."

"From seeing those Crown Jewels? Kinky..."

   "So. Many. Jokes. Too. Little. Time."

"Honey, you should see me in a crown."

   "Don't bring Andrew into this! You know how I feel about Andrew!"

"I'm not bringing Andrew into it, I'm bringing Moriarty into it."

   "Like that's better. Moriarty is just a sexier, more dangerous Andrew. Ergo, a hotter Andrew."

"Payback is a bitch."

   "I hate you."

"You love me, really."

   "Not when I am supposed to spend the afternoon at St Paul's! That's a holy place, Ben, I can't walk around a holy place fantasizing about you and Andrew! What if God decides to punish me and strike me down? Or worse, put a baby in me without asking or at least giving me hot sex first Virgin Mary style?!"

.....

   "Babe?"

.....

   "Oh god, did I kill you? Did the director find you sexting with me? Have you died from embarrassment? Did God strike you down because you were sexting?"

"I'm sorry, I was crying from laughter so hard, I dropped my phone and it had to reboot."

   "Being dead would have been a better excuse for letting me stew in my own panic for so long."

"You are a crazy woman."

   "You love me."

"I do."

   "When are you coming home?"

"Late, I think around two or three."

   "Wake me when you get in?"

"Should I bring Andrew?"

   "Nah, but role play as Moriarty and I am all yours."


End file.
